Body Image | "To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, it's society who’s ugly."

Fat. Thin. Huge. Skinny. Curvy. Skeletal. Chunky. Hefty. Thickset. Scraggy. Twiggy. Scrawny. Chubby. 
Fat. Thin. Huge. Skinny. Curvy. Skeletal. Chunky. Hefty. Thickset. Scraggy. Twiggy. Scrawny. Chubby. 
Fat. Thin. Huge. Skinny. Curvy. Skeletal. Chunky. Hefty. Thickset. Scraggy. Twiggy. Scrawny. Chubby. 

We've all heard these (and many other horrible) words at least once in our lives and even though we've probably tried to shake them off they hurt and sometimes they stick with us forever. It only takes one person to say something and the way you feel about yourself can be completely changed. I understand  people have different opinions on how we should look but surely as long as you're happy (and healthy) it shouldn't matter? 

The media has completely redefined our perception on body image. What used to be perceived as 'beautiful' is now something that is looked down upon. 60 years ago it wasn't diet pills people were after, it was pills to make you GAIN weight. 

Nowadays, if a celebrity puts on a bit of weight for whatever reason, it's front page of a gossip magazine and it's not to tell them how great they look. There is no respect for people anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach when there are stories about girls in primary school having eating disorders because they want to look like the 'ladies in the magazines'. Children shouldn't be worrying about their weight at that age, they should be out playing in the garden, learning the basics at school, eating as much rubbish as they want and not having to give a damn about it. We're persistently told that being 'fat' is wrong and we need to change. It might not be said outright but it's certainly implied. Take the Christmas period for example, it only needs to get to boxing day and the diet adverts are in your face. Then there is shop mannequins, barbie dolls and models... Each one of those is a slap in the face to someone with a little more body fat than others. There is little to no space for the 'larger' model on a catwalk. Barbies are completely out of proportion but it's okay for a child to have her as a role model, and mannequins make you feel like crap because it's hard to imagine how you would look in those clothes if you're not a size 8. 

Shout out for the shops that have started to use plus size mannequins, you're great.

I'm sad because I'm 'fat'.

 I eat because I'm sad.

I'm 'fat' because I eat because I'm sad. 

And repeat. 

I am one of those people (there are plenty of us) who finds comfort in food. My weight tends to fluctuate depending on how I am feeling. If I've had a rough few weeks, I usually put on a few pounds and then lose it again when I find the good in my life again. We end up living in this horrendous vicious circle and there seems to be no escape.

Above are some photos I've come across photos of myself when I was younger and a size 10. Now I wonder why the hell I ever thought I was fat. I would kill to be that size again. I don't understand why people would make fun of my size. What did they gain from it? I was healthy, wasn't half as big as I am now, yet I felt so upset that I looked that way. The reason for this being the people in my life and the nasty things they would say about me.
I'm so frustrated with myself for letting peoples words get to me. I'm mad at myself for thinking my body was disgusting and I'm horrified that I've hated myself for so long because of it. It feels like the things they said had been engraved into my mind and I just started believing them as though they were fact. I'd look in the mirror and all I could see was those names I had been called.
I'm finally realising, even though I don't like the way I am at the moment, it's who I am at this point in my life. Instead of dwelling on what I'd like to be like, it's time to do something about it but enjoy my life at the same time.

Society is always reminding us of what is 'acceptable' and if you don't fit the criteria then you won't be accepted. I'm hoping in time people will just come to terms with the fact not everyone will look the same but it doesn't mean they aren't beautiful. We all come in different shapes and sizes. Nobody should be able to make you feel ugly, too fat or too skinny. You can never please everyone, so you should stop trying to.

Your body doesn't define you. You are more than your dress size.